Ya Gotta Eat.

For millions of years, we've been plagued by a conundrum—how to create the best-tasting food without any prior knowledge of cooking. Prehistoric man had to resort to trial-and-error by tasting his surroundings. Sometimes he discovered blueberries—other times, poison oak. As time marched on, certain humans rose to power, and hired lowly servants to sample their prepared food in case any enemies tried to poison the king of the land. These poor souls had no choice but to roll the dice of life and death.
These problems are now in the distant past, for now you have found DooDFooD. The all-being, all-knowing, all-seeing eye of all things delicious. Do dogs run away from your table scraps? Does the CEO of McDonalds blog about your cooking, labeling it "dumpster vomit"? Does your cereal catch on fire when you add milk? If you answered "I dunno, whatever" to any of these questions, congratulations—you're welcomed here with open arms. This is an Eden of edible delight, a sanctuary of succulence, a veritable treasure trove of tasty treats. This is DooDFooD, a good friend that will not laugh at your meatloaf. We are here to enter you into the world of haute cuisine for the happening human, and with some spit polish, a little elbow grease, and a whole lot of luck, you too can put down the tin of cat food and actually cook something that might taste pretty good.